Yeah, I Get It, John Adams Was Old

FINALLY. It's over. The John Adams mini-series on HBO has completed its run. There are no more. There is only peace on Sundays where once a mini-series tread. Peace... and quiet.

The last installment of the John Adams mini-series condensed twenty-five years into its running time. So not only does it feel rushed, but it also feels slow. Also, there are a handful of "fast-forward" moments. 

While Adams time post-presidency is one of the most interesting of his life, it's all glossed over in the mini-series. They couldn't figure out what to make the driving story of his post-presidency years, so they just kind of throw the balls into the air and see what sticks.

We spend an awful lot of time with the Adams' daughter, Nabby, who discovers she has a cancerous tumor in her breast. Then we get a horrific surgery scene, then we get more moping with her as she recovers, then we get her telling her mother Abigail that the cancer has come back and she's not going to go under the knife again. Then she's dead and her parents are sad. You just spent twenty minutes watching this (or perhaps fast-forwarding through the surgery as I don't like watching gratuitous stick-biting and breast-cutting), but guess what -- That's only part of the story!

If you're looking for a plot in this last episode of John Adams, stop. Because you're not going to find it.

We're then treated to more aged musings between John and Abigail as they grow older. Then Abigail dies and John is sad. He's really, really sad. So sad that he ends up holding her body and wailing for a few minutes as his family watches. I fast forwarded through this part too. It was too rough to watch.

Then John Adams is even older, and you can tell, because his makeup keeps getting thicker and thicker, so you think, wow, as John Adams ages the make up he gets keeps getting more and more obvious.

His son, JQA, as I like to call him, but John Quincy Adams to everyone else, is elected President. A touching scene where John the Elder tells his son, the President, that he is the proudest father in the country. Then Elder John is old some more.

We're treated to a few minutes of voice-over letter-writing between Adams and Jefferson, which is perhaps the greatest thing Adams accomplished -- accumulating all these letters discussing the successes and failures of the early republic. It's glossed over. There's no conflict. It's lame.

Then we're treated to a montage of Jefferson and Adams dying. Jefferson is waited on by the tearful Sally Hemings, and Adams is looked over by his family. Jefferson dies early in the day (the 50th Anniversary on the Fourth of July), and then Adams looks to his son, says "Jefferson survives," and dies that evening. Oh, get it? Jefferson had died earlier that day! Oh, the tragedy! The irony! The poeticism!

Wahhhh. 

But rejoice, children, for John Adams is over. Neither great nor terrible, it was an interesting misadventure through American history. The attention to detail was to be admired. But it was a pity they picked a story as unfocused as the life of a man who missed the war, served as president before official parties, and died when he was ninety years old.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that, someday, somehow, we get Burr & Hamilton. 

Then, my friends, there will be fireworks.

-RoboNixon