Alvin, Part III

Proving that children prefer movie soundtracks to "music," the Alvin & the Chipmunks album fell one place this past week to #7 on the Billboard Album Chart. That's only one spot lower than last week, which was only a spot lower than the week before. It's time to face the hard truth: Alvin & the Chipmunks will likely sell more units than REMs latest. 

Did you hear that? That zipping? That's the sound of millions of musicians across the country turning into animated creatures to promote their music. What's scary about that is the passage in Revelations where it is revealed that "children as animals will dance upon the grave of man." 

REM is down to #9, the Juno Soundtrack somehow snuck up to #8 (from 46), and Mariah Carey debuted at #1, proving that her vocal chords can not only sing a ridiculous range of notes, but also can hypnotize the American populace into parting with its cash.

-RoboNixon

ps. Expect reviews in the near future of The Raconteurs' "Consolers of the Lonely," The Long Blondes' "Couples," and REM's "Accelerate."