Hand Cock

I wrote a big long scathing review of Will Smith's latest flick, HANCOCK, before realizing that it wasn't even worth the scorn. So here's my shorter review, so my brain can get to work on deleting all memories of it that-much-sooner. 

The film is terrible. And this coming from someone who enjoyed Transformers. I mean, if I was willing to give that film a pass on all of its horrible shit, you'd think I could maybe give Will Smith a freebie for his take on the superhero genre.

That is not the case. 

Now, to be fair, not all of Hancock is terrible. The first half is watchable, if not particularly good, but there were a few laughs and some cool moments. The second half is worse-than-Kindom-of-the-Crystal-Skull-bad. Just terrible. A complete misfire.

Will Smith plays amnesiac, immortal, super-powered drunk, living in Los Angeles and "fighting crime" when he feels like it. Usually this involves him inadvertently destroying things, or making the situation worse than it needs to be. And a first for Will Smith, Hancock is not only not-bright, but also has no sense of humor. Smith is always watchable, but I was afraid at any moment he'd just punch through someone's head out of frustration because he could not take a ride on "Q-Q-Q-Qantas airlines."

Jason Bateman does his best to hold together an incoherent 2nd half, and Charlize Theron is wasted collecting a paycheck and really nothing else.

Beyond the fact that Hancock's entire arc occurs in the first half of the film... Beyond the ridiculous "origin" they give him, which makes no sense... Beyond the redundant scenes of Hancock going "Tell me who I am," and someone else screaming "I hate you" at him without telling him anything, despite the fact that this other someone knowing about his amnesia from 80 years ago... Beyond the non-developed, super-late introduced "bad-guy"... Beyond all this... There's a good film that wants to be made. io9 had a particularly nice piece about all the problems with this movie, and how there's a good movie that wants to exist in there.

But, as such, it does not. Hancock is a terrible, terrible piece of shit, and the worst Will Smith movie I've ever seen, hands down. It is not worth your time, your money, or another second of me ruminating on it.

Don't see it.

I warned you.

-RoboNixon