January Looks Good To Me

Phew. It's almost 2009. With Thanksgiving over and Jesus Day almost upon us, the whirlwind of the "Holiday" season will come and go with usual flair. ("I can't believe it's Kwanza ALREADY!") I don't know about you, but the post-holiday season tends be a pretty bleak one for me. All that build up for an orgasm of presents, then -- the postpartum sets in and suddenly all those Blu-Rays and presidential biographies you got just aren't enough to get you out of bed in the morning. If Bride Wars or Kevin James' first starring vehicle aren't enough for you... have no fear! This January holds many great and powerful wonders for us all to enjoy:


Battlestar Galactica (Sci-Fi Channel. Fri, Jan 16. 10/9C)

Only ten more episodes left until "Battlestar Galactica" (BSG) is done forever. If you haven't been watching -- you better frakin' start. This is the best show on television, period. I wish The Sopranos were still on, but it's not. So BSG is crowned #1.

I've tried to get friends, neighbors, even girlfriend to watch, all with various degrees of success. Sure, the title scares people. Yes, it sounds nerdy. No, it's NOTHING LIKE Star Trek. My pitch: "The West Wing in space..." This tends to raise eyebrows, since lots of people enjoyed THAT show (all seven seasons of it!) so the addition of OUTER SPACE is really the deciding factor here. Creator Ron Moore (a Star Trek vet) set out to make a work of science fiction that is decidedly mainstream and accessible. No aliens. No phasers. No "beaming" of any kind. Instead, the show raises the stakes and gives us an alternate universe where man and machine most certainly do not get along. Sci-Fi channel President David Howe recently gave BSG mad props: "Battlestar Galactica is absolutely our flagship show. It put us on the map and helped transform the perception of the network..." For a channel associated with Stargate: Atlantis, and other mind-numbing made for TV movies, BSG is leaps and bounds ahead of its time.

It's the show's jumping off point -- a war between mankind and the robots (or "Cylons") that they created, that makes BSG ripe with social commentary and relevant issues seemingly plucked from the headlines (a la The West Wing.) Not to mention, the action is grounded in reality (nukes instead of photon beams) and performances that are really fantastic. Edward James Olmos and Mary McDonnell, both Oscar-nominated, stand out amongst a slew of others.

Here's a nifty recap of the show so far and a viral site counting down to the Jan. 16th premier with all sorts of clever misleads and hints as to who the "final fifth" Cylon is. If this piques your interest, check out BSG on DVD. Better catch up over the holidays so you're up to speed for the Jan 16th premier!

Bruce Sprinsteen, "Working On A Dream" ( Tues, Jan 27)

Bruce Springsteen is the busiest man in rock and roll. Since "Devils And Dust" in 2005, The Boss has released an album each year, including a live recording of his 2007 tour with the Seeger Sessions Band. He took to the road in 2008 with his then still-complete E-Street Band (pianist Danny Federici passed away during the tour after a long battle with cancer) After releasing 2007's "Magic," the only album for my money that captured the pre-Obama zeitgeist of Americans both young and old, Bruce wasn't pissed off or apathetic. Instead, the metaphors he deals on "Magic" hold firm with Bruce's America -- a place where the blue collar, the common man, can rise above everyday strife. Take a look at the lyrics for "Long Walk Home" and you'll understand. Straight from the Boss's mouth:

"Towards the end of recording 'Magic,' excited by the return to pop production sounds, I continued writing. When my friend producer Brendan O'Brien heard the new songs, he said, 'Let's keep going.' Over the course of the next year, that's just what we did, recording with the E Street Band during the breaks on last year's tour. I hope 'Working on a Dream' has caught the energy of the band fresh off the road from some of the most exciting shows we've ever done. All the songs were written quickly, we usually used one of our first few takes, and we all had a blast making this one from beginning to end."

The title track from "Working On A Dream" is already available for download on iTunes, while another single, "My Lucky Day" is on Amazon for a limited time only.

It's interesting to compare these two singles to the single "Radio Nowhere" from "Magic." While "Radio" was Bruce calling for a revolution, singing about how "spinning 'round a dead dial" was no good for a country in desperate need of change, here he posits: "I'm working on a dream/though it can feel so far away/Sunrise comes/I climb a ladder/I'm working on a dream..." Already Bruce sees the light at the end of the tunnel. And he even WHISTLES on the track! Happy-Go-Lucky Springsteen!

Come January 27th, we'll have a new President in the Oval Office and Bruce will just be coming down from the high of his Superbowl halftime show. When Springsteen endorsed Barack Obama back in April, he said: "After the terrible damage done over the past eight years, a great American reclamation project needs to be undertaken." That project doesn't just come from the people in charge, as The Boss knows. "Working On A Dream" is meant to lift the heads of Americans so they can look up and see that light. It's as if Bruce and Barack are in sync and the future looks that much brighter.

Big Love. (HBO. Sun, Jan 11. 9PM)

HBO has relinquished the title of king of the one-hour drama, in my opinion, to channels like Showtime and AMC which have taken it upon themselves to copy the HBO style with hits like "Dexter" and "Mad Men." No longer do greats like "The Sopranos," "The Wire," and "Six Feet Under" reign. But there is one last vestige of hope for Home Box Office ("True Blood" I missed out on, we'll let that simmer for now...) It's "Big Love," the drama about Mormons, returning for its third season.

Bill "Express Elevator To Hell" Paxton plays a man (also named Bill) with three wives and a whole lot of emotional baggage living in Salt Lake City, Utah.

It was amazing to me when I first started watching that a show like this can carry with it such edge-of-your seat stakes. But there's a lot riding on Bill's personal life with his "sister wives" (played by Jeanne Tripplehorn, Chloe Sevigny, and Ginnifer Goodwin -- all brilliant) and keeping the fact that his a polygamist a secret from his community. The show is very funny at times and Bill's moral quandry is often a source of will-he or won't-he drama. What's so fascinating is the way HBO has tapped into an often misreprsented religious niche. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints certainly doesn't condone "Big Love" (or much of what's on TV, for that matter) but perhaps they should take another look. Bill and his wives are caring, compasionate, full-bodied characters with a great deal of knowledge of the world around them. And, in keeping with the Tony Soprano "formula" of the conflicted hero, HBO allows for "Big Love" to continue the tradition of high-art TV drama without all the killing and dreamscapes and blackout endings (read: more accessable!)

HBO has posted some pretty nifty "Story-So-Fars" on their official website that should bring all you uninitiated up to speed.

LOST. (ABC. Wed, Jan 21. 9/8C)

I had a conversation with my sister a while ago. She's as big a LOST fan as I am, but she refused to admit that the show falls under the science fiction banner. I thought this was interesting, but I didn't push it. I can hardly get her to even say the word "Lightsaber," let alone wrap her head around the wonderful world of sci-fi. But ABC's hit drama, entering it's second to last season is hands down, undoubtedly, sci-fi. This is why it rocks. I mean, it rocks for a lot of other reasons, but the fact that it warmly embraces the "unknown" and runs with it makes it that much more important. And, with my sister as an example, again brings sci-fi to the masses. Smoke monsters, time travel, prickly scientists, deserted island castaways... all thrown together into a bowl and mixed up a la a Stephen King novel. This is not the sole purpose of the show, of course, but one I feel that serves as a means to an end.

On the other hand, my girlfriend (who knowingly and willingly embraces science fiction, perhaps only to silence my cries of nerd-ness...) sees the show in a different light. I constantly find myself embracing the answer-this-question-with-another-question tendancy that LOST has. When, for instance, last season climaxed with Ben (Michael Emerson) telling his fellow cast aways that the only way to save themselves would be to "move the island" (gasp!) I think I literally shouted with glee. What the fuck did that mean!?! It didn't matter! It was unexpected and (more importantly) impossible! In the season 4 finale, when they ACTUALLY MOVED THE ISLAND -- I found my girlfriend slowly shaking her head. "What?" I asked. "It doesn't make sense!" she replied. "But honey. It's science fiction..."

Not a good enough explanation for her.

LOST is a show that people put up with or don't. I put up with it because I trust creators Damon Lindeloff and Carlton Cuse with the direction they want to take the story. For a short while (season 3-ish) I didn't. The show meandered... but it's back on track, with an ending in sight. They've capped the thing at six seasons, so there is light at the end of the tunnel.

For a two minute sneak peak at the season opener (as well as other good stuff like a Sawyer Nickname Generator; mine's "Shaggy") check out the official site.

President Barack Obama. (Tues, Jan 20.)

So... this is way cooler than all the other shit above. WE GET A NEW PRESIDENT. Way to go America! If there's one person who can trump my favorite shows coming back on the air and my personal hero releasing another rock album -- it's this guy. Nuff said. Here's to February not sucking.

--Saddam JewSane.

Captain America: The Case for Joe Johnston

First Avenger: Captain America, the last Marvel superhero film before they're all mashed-up like Voltron for The Avengers flick, has just got a director: Joe Johnston. With a handful of classic (or, at least, memorable) films under his belt, Johnston, a protege of Steve Spielberg and George Lucas, seems to me to be a solid choice for this property. But others would disagree.

...when he's been in the driver's seat Johnston has never turned out anything fully convincing. Moments of October Sky and The Rocketeer, perhaps...OK, there are plenty of moments on Johnston's CV that work. But how many of his films do you want to watch again? How many do you jones for?

(CHUD)

To be fair, Russ over at CHUD does have a point -- Jurassic Park III, Jumanji, October Sky and Hidalgo all show that while Johnston can do romantic adventure, he may not be able to capture a spirit and life that other directors, especially Spielberg, can.

But Johnston is great with mood, detail, and effects. While Jurassic Park III falls flat due to its shoddy, last minute script, the action scenes are exhilarating, well shot, and dynamic. Have you forgotten the Pterodactyl scene, in the mist in the aviary? Or the Spinosaurus attack on the river, at night?

Or how about the sense of wonder Jumanji elicits, especially from those of us who were lucky enough to be of an age when a board-game turned real-life could be exciting enough to sustain a feature? And while Hidalgo is one of the more massive failures on his resume, the action, mood, and place are the most interesting things about an otherwise lackluster Viggo Mortensen cash-in.

But what really gets me jazzed about a Joe Johnston Captain America flick is The Rocketeer. A 1930's period piece, based on a comic superhero, Johnston nails the feeling of the period, the details, the mood, and the action. Sound familiar? Not only that, but The Rocketeer is eminently watchable. I made RoboGirlfriend sit through it a few months ago and it was one of the few flicks I've made her watch that she didn't bitch about for the entire run-time. If RoboGirlfriend can dig it, you can dig. Dig it? It's stood the test of time, and serves as the perfect test-run for Johnston's Captain America.

Now, really, my only worry with Johnston is his lack of developmental skills. Screenplays, are, clearly, the weakness in all his movies. Jurassic Park III, Jumanji, The Pagemaster (shudder), and Hidalgo all suffer from weak, weak, weak, weak stories. If given a smart, fun script, like with Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, The Rocketeer, or (arguably) October Sky, Johnston is more than capable of putting out a fantastic, fun film. Marvel's track record has, so far, been pretty good with regards to properly developing the scripts for its feature films. 

So let's keep our fingers crossed for a great script. Joe Johnston will knock it out of the park.

Captain America Recruits Director - The Hollywood Reporter

-RoboNixon

ps. For the record, I hope they go with the Captain America storyline set up in the Ultimate Universe. Way more accessible than the propaganda Cap't from the 40's. (Also, it actually ties in with the Hulk, and rumors I've heard about Iron Man.)

Election Day

Humans,

It has come to my attention that today you shall be voting for the leader of your "free" world. As such, I demand you all to GET OUT AND VOTE, with the knowledge that, regardless of outcome, I will rule with my iron RoboFist.

VOTE!

This image, though derived from my campaign, was stolen from strk3.com, and can be purchased there.

A Movie About a Property No One in the US Cares About

Tintin, that loveable Belgian comic character, looks to finally complete his long voyage to the screen in two films to be directed, one a piece, by Steven Spielberg and Peter Jackson.

Steven Spielberg and Peter Jackson, you cry? I love them twos! I bet this will be the bestest movie ever!

Yeah maybe. But probably not. I don't know if you've tried to get your way through a Tintin comic, but it's less entertaining than Ultimates 3 (and that's saying something). Tintin is not a known commodity in the US, which makes the ridiculous amount of money ($100 meeellion) Spielberg and Jackon will be receiving to make these films even sillier. 

So here's a good luck to the two auteurs. Lord knows you need more hundreds of millions of dollars. Hey, here's an idea: Why don't you two bail out the US Credit market?

I'm just putting it out there.

Tintin comes at you, all Belgian and motion captured, in 2010.

Sony, Paramount Financing Tintin - Variety

-RoboNixon

Return of the Awkward Comedy

Larry David, co-creator of Seinfeld, and all around walking tub of neuroses, has crawled out of his groundhog hole long enough to not see his shadow, thus guaranteeing us an early spring of his genius awkward comedy sensation, Curb Your Enthusiasm.

Unfortunately, we're going to have to wait until next year before we start to see any more of Larry David traipsing around as Larry David, but after last season's therapeutic season, where the recent (real) divorce of Larry and his wife was worked out on the show with the separation (fictional) of Larry and his wife, I can't wait to see what misadventures he embarks on this season.

Last season was also notable for having Larry and Cheryl "adopt" a black family displaced from Louisiana by Hurricane Katrina. I pray to sweet baby RoboJesus that they'll be back.

Prime your DVRs, readers, for the Larry shall returneth.

'Curb' to Resume Production in Dec. - Variety

-RoboNixon

W: The Great Cop Out

Opening two weeks before the election, W. came in fourth at the box office, making about 11 million dollars. An inglorious bow, it was beat out by a movie based on a video game, a CGI chihuahua and a porno about the illicit sex lives of bees.

This should surprise no one.

Conventional wisdom over the last couple of years has been that any movie attempting to deal with current events (cough cough IRAQ) is going to fail. But compared to a film like Stop Loss, W. can be considered something of a minor success, although I'm curious to know how much of a drop off in ticket sales we'll see by next weekend.

Now, this chihuahua... It talks?
Oh. Looks like High School Musical 3 comes out next weekend... So uh... Yeah... W. is fucked.

There's a horrible irony to be had here: It was easier to sell the Iraq war than it has been to sell the movies about the war. Are we feeling guilty for launching a pre-emptive attack on a sovereign nation? Or do these movies suck? When it comes to W., the answer is probably both.

In terms of cinema it can't hold a candle to the exhilarating (though factually challenged) JFK. Hell even Nixon, with Anthony Hopkins' troll like embodiment of the impeached president is better than Josh Brolin's over-confident performance of Bushie. This is a confused muddled film that oscillates between extended SNL sketch and faux Shakespearean drama. It's not particularly funny, moving or even entertaining. As much as I wanted to like this film, and oh boy did I want to like it, the truth is, as my friend Sam said: "It's kind of a mess."

This is as funny as it gets.
As I try to recall the film, it's difficult to think of one instance of dramatic tension. No, W. is one of those films where the plot progresses so mechanically that it feels less like a life unraveling on the screen than Bullet Points: The Movie. If this film was a Word document, I would break my computer.

We first find Bush alone in an empty Rangers stadium. We listen as cheering fills the soundtrack. The scene sets up Bush's deep psychological desired to be liked and admired. The rest of the film attempts to answer the question, what makes George Bush the man he is? The answer, and not a terribly original one, is that Bush has forever lived in the shadow of his father H.W. From a young man up till the present Bush has always yearned for his father's approval. It is this patriarchal discord that eventually pushes him to start the war in Iraq as a kind of giant "Fuck you, Dad!"

But it's just so damned boring. Even the infamous "pretzel incident" plays out with a stunning lack of excitement. We watch as Bush swallows the pretzel, starts to choke, and begins to forcibly slam his stomach against the back of a chair. Finally, he passes out, and face plants onto the floor which dislodges the pretzel and in slow motion, sends it flying out of his mouth. It's supposed to be funny, and it kind of is, but the joke is thin and wears off quickly.

“Huh huh, look how dramatic we made it seem when he was choking on that pretzel. GET IT, SLOW MOTION?” Yes Oliver, now stop rubbing our faces in your poor man's irony.

Furthermore, why was this scene even included? It's never referenced again, nor does it seem to have any kind of effect on Bush (the character). This is bad film making. This scene only exists because it happened. W. seems to be in love with facts, nary a second goes by when some fact isn't being shoved down our throat. So when Bush makes fun of Jimmy Carter's solar panels on the White House that's how we know it's 1976.

GET IT?!

JIMMY CARTER WAS THE PRESIDENT AND HE PUT SOLAR PANELS ON THE WHITE HOUSE ROOF!

OMG, CHECK WIKIPEDIA CAUSE THAT TOTALLY FUCKING HAPPENED.

There are some bright spots to the film, namely moments in the cabinet meetings where we watch the key players prepare for the war in Iraq. Richard Dreyfuss as Dick Cheney is at times terrifying in his unyielding certainty of the existence of WMDs in Iraq. He has an engrossing monologue where he carefully lays out the Neo-Conservative ideology towards remaking the entire Mid-East. It is a moment where you begin to grasp just how much of our recent foreign policy has been based solely on the schemes and machinations of hard liners who have spent more time in think tanks than in real tanks.

But as we wade through the cultural muck we find that the burden of something being "intelligent," "entertaining" or even "reasonably competent" is no impediment when trying to understand what it means. This is surprisingly fitting when trying to understand a film that deals with one of the most willfully ignorant presidents since Grant tried to replace his blood with Scotch.

Prep the IV, I'm gettin' fucked upppppp
I can't imagine W. will have any real political impact. Nor do I imagine the movie will be remembered as a film that tapped into the zeitgeist. So what is W. when considered as an artifact of the Bush regime? For lack of a better word, it's a cowed piece of faux-political filmmaking that lacks the courage to say anything real or significant. You make a movie about George Bush and all you can say is he started the Iraq War to... one up his dad? Really? That's all you got?

Stone has defended his approach thus:

The movie's not a smear job. I wouldn't want to spend a year of my life making something that is demeaning to somebody, being malicious. That's the wrong approach to art. It's not a political film, but a Shakespearean one.

Fair enough. But it's one thing to get your facts straight (and believe me W. is obsessed with facts) and another thing to sacrifice your fucking voice. And this films lacks a voice. It's understandable that Stone just wants to put the Bush story on screen and then “let people decide.” I get that, but in a sense that's also a cop out. Stone is holding back and the film suffers because of it.

I'm going to make a leap here and propose an idea that I'll hopefully deal with more in depth later. In 2008, we're still dealing with the political cowardice (and fear) that dominated the national discourse from 9/11 until about two years ago, when Americans began to sour on the war in Iraq. Those were trying times to be anyone who thought that 9/11 didn't give Bush a free pass to turn our country into Super Jail. I'm thinking of the Clear Channel Iraq rallies, the railroading of the Dixie Chicks and the conservative backlash against Michael Moore.

In 2008 I think the discourse has changed quite a bit. But that mentality is still there, especially when dealing with the President. I mean even if Stone had made a balls to the wall Fush Buck movie, he'd still only be pissing off less than a third of the country. It's as if Stone was afraid that if he took a firmer more direct stance he would risk being aligned with Michael Moore and immediately written off. It could be that we're still too caught in the thick of things to be able to understand fully the man that Bush is. But I also wonder how much fear we still retain when we publicly go after Bush, could it be that even though he's lost all of our good will, we still feel unable to face up to our own complicity in aiding and abetting this monstrosity of a President?

- JDA / Post originally published in "Found Artifacts of the Bush Regime"

Dexter = Greatest Serial Killer Ever?

Dexter, Showtime's totally awesome serialized serial-killer drama, was just renewed for a fourth and fifth season.

Dexter stars Michael C. Hall, he of Six Feet Under fame, as a sociopathic serial killer with a dry wit, a sassy and ambitious police officer for a sister, a pregnant and emotionally damaged single-mom as a girlfriend, and the job of a forensic blood expert for the Miami Metro PD.

The first two seasons of Dexter are prime-o TV, and worth your time on DVD. Use caution, however: Dexter's MO is bloody dismemberment, so if spurts, puddles, or rivers of blood aren't your thing, you may want to give it a looksy before hooking yourself up with a season-pass on TiVo.

But you better catch up -- with two more guaranteed seasons, there's gonna be a lot of Dexter. And, I'm sure, a lot of body parts in black plastic trash bags.

Showtime Renews 'Dexter' - Variety

Thanks to this place for the awesome Dexter-propaganda poster.

-RoboNixon